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Glameyes

Ravage me take ur time.
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My mum was like, "You know you should really go back to work! After you're well again"
Yeah, when they invent a cure for laziness!

Thanks mum :iconfeelingfreeplz:
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So last night I slept early and with my laptop next to me! Of course!!! ( Normally I don't sleep with my laptop!!!! I swear, bad habit! ) I was reading Shin Kotaro Makaritoru on mangafox and it's really awesome! But I turned in early for the night and foolishly left the thing hanging off the edge of my bed....My bed is actually on the floor so don't panic!!! It wasn't in any real danger! I tell myself! :iconfortehlulzplz:  

But like sometime in the night it fell and hit the floor which must have freaked everybody out sleeping down stairs... ; u ; It is quite heavy!
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I had a dream of Tobuscus! Argh! Sweet sweet boy....I don't know if I should be telling you about this....My, my what will you think of me now! If anybody bothers to think about me anyway! It wasn't a sex dream of course! But I did hug him in my dream......That's the dirtiest I will ever get! Second guy my subconscious made me hug....I don't know how I feel about that yet.....Naughty, naughty mind!!! Like I swear nothing went on we just talked and laughed and made my friends driving in a separate car swerve (and almost crash) at highway speeds.....I feel like a terrible person XD
Now to be frank I cannot remember what happened. I guess this dream is basically only for me to experience and like for nobody else! But I will try my best to explain it.....I just saw one of Toby's videos where he was talking about his relationship with Olga Kay and I almost cried! I don't care for relationships especially celebrity relationships, its like I like you because of you not who you date or even care who you date! I never payed any attention to that! Even with Toby I didn't care, but it was the I guess true emotion he was spilling....No one will know but him.....I saw the title 'Relationships' and was really hoping to see him talking about sappy stuff coz I was kinda in the mood for that....It was really sad to see him like that :( Btw if you haven't seen it go look for it on his vlogging channel.
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Warning*This is a very long story so brace yourselves!!!!!*

   Somehow I was in a long car ride with Toby and we had a fun time together. Toby and I were in the back seat talking. I was seated behind the left passenger seat because I could look in the drivers seat and see who it was driving. Toby was on the right side. It was night time and we where driving to a hotel which later I found out about.   The odd thing was that Toby was also driving the car! He was wearing a trucker hat and cool sunglasses. He would turn around periodically and laugh with us but never joined the conversation. We where on a highway where the street lamps where flashing through the window.

   Toby and I were talking and making jokes and really having a great time. I cannot remember most of what we said but I remember I was funny too. Some highlights of what we talked about: I remembered Toby's outlet store close to where I live now. It was awesome! Large glass windows and stuff. I told Toby that his store appropriately named :"Toby Turner" has another sign behind another stores name board thing. I told him you could only see it when it was dark and the stores where quite and the shops were closed. That's when they pull down the giant doors to shut the shop. So that means the sign Toby Turner was covered by another store sign. It was just letters on the wall. It wasn't a bill board or anything.

Next we talked about how our lives would be so awesome if we were friends. We hugged. It was sweet. It was weird, I hugged Toby and he was bigger/bustier (WTF BRAIN??) than I thought he would be, and he had a bra strap..... D: (ASDFGHKL!!!!) We stopped hugging periodically to get comfortable you know but continued hugging some more. He rapped his arms around my neck and  I hugged him below the shoulders. I rested my chin on his left shoulder and I remember his jacket fabric was scrunched up so I assumed he must have had his arms up high.
He told me if we were friends his life would be simpler, stuff wouldn't be canceled and scheduled so often. ( Coz I'm a lazy person but I don't get how that is a compliment for me....) I said, if I was friends with him it would be awesome because, he interrupted me and said it's cause he's a rock star and he's so cool and stuff. I had other reasons but I didn't say.

  We passed by my friends in their car. Stephan (alias) was driving and Desmond (also alias), and my other friends were in the back seat. I told Toby to shout at them and to make sure they noticed I was with him. I told him I felt like my friends weren't being much of friends to me recently so I wanted to make'em jealous (If you get what I mean). He waved at them and I did the same. We made them swerve a bit in shock but it was awesome! (I'm a terrible person) I kinda felt like Lilo when she shouted "MY FRIENDS" and they all tried to avoid her in the movie.........So can relate ( If you know what I mean I never got a blue dog or was ever visited by aliens)

  We made it to the hotel after a while and I arrived first.
I realized after going through my bags that I forgot my shampoo and soap and my tooth brush and toothpaste! ARGH! My teeth cleaning stuff! NOOOO!!!
I don't remember much about my room but I saw a microwave oven.(whoop-ti-doo-da-day!)
Toby had a room all to himself just across the corridor! How awesome is that? S showed up at my door a few minutes later and she wanted to come in. Toby came in too and she talked to him. She said how weird of a coincidence it was that Toby would have booked the same hotel as us and then to have a room that was directly in front of mine. I thought it was strange too but I didn't care!

Toby's room door was ajar so we could see directly into his room . It kinda looked like some boy's lame lived in apartment room instead of a cool hotel room.
My door bell rang again and S's (Hah! Asses) little brother was at the door. He had a shaven head but apparently I already knew about it. I saw it in a FB photo. He said to me me 'Hello, Sarah Ang' and I called him "Baldy" and told him how he looked good as a bald boy. He thanked me 'Thank you Sarah Ang'. Actually he only looked good in the photo coz his hair was really dark and it looked awesome but not so much in real life.
I let him in.

Just then I noticed a pair of sexy legs belonging to a women. She was getting undressed on Toby's futon bed on the floor! I was furious! What was she doing in there? WTF? We all noticed and told Toby about it and he hurried over to his room. My room door was open as well. He walked over to his room to see what was going on. I can't remember what happened but he was gone for a while. I was getting impatient and angrier. I wanted to go over there myself to see what was going on! I had to change my clothes and honestly I have no idea what I was wearing at all! I was standing by the door with my bags and pulled off my top. I realized S and her bro were staring at me while I was half naked.....I looked down and saw all my spots(Ugh for skin impurities) and I turned around and quickly pulled out my clothes. I was looking for something comfortable to wear. I rummaged and I found my striped shirt: green, red and white striped collared shirt. I don't remember what I did but Toby apparently got rid of her........
We shut the door and then the door bell rang again. I peeped out the door and it was a little girl. A friend of S's (Hah, more asses!) I guess. I didn't want her there because I didn't know her. But S let her in. I couldn't do anything about it! D:<
I locked the wooden door (we had three different doors in total, which were too many) and told her to open it, which of course she could not accomplish....But she got in after S unlocked the door.....Damn

  More of my friends came over and apparently they where there to stay the night. Toby came back into my room and he started to say something to me and when he saw all the girls in my room he lowered his head and turned around. That was hilarious! I shouted to him "Now that I've brought in a bunch of under aged girls you're turning around?" I laughed at him. He was so cute. I told him I was the only one who wasn't underage. (Of course technically I was!) So he could talk to me (only) or the only other choice was to talk to my mum! (Weird, why did I say that? Are you trying to loose him??)

 Other stuff happened and somehow I walked into Toby and the little girl I mentioned earlier sleeping on the floor bed together. (The strange little girl I met at the door not the other one) Toby was wearing his pajama pants, dark blueish and really baggy, it was so cute! But  back to the point! He had his legs rapped around her and she had her back against him. It was completely inappropriate! This was why I DIDN'T want to let her in!!

I did something to get them away from each other (this is my TOBY!!!!) This is really frustrating because I can't remember anything!!!!
At one point I was watching Toby's videos and the internet was acting up again so I couldn't enjoy watching. Obviously I was so upset with Toby all I could do was watch more Toby! Duh!) I quit after a while but I saw another video to the side in the recommended section that was playing I thought it was playing for some weird reason but actually it was part of the video. Toby was trying a different style of editing I guess. It was awesome! Jump cuts. He was eating colorful macaronis and it was super hot.....

   Finally the last part of my dream was when S told us that it would be lights out in 5 minutes. I was like 'Awwhhh! No!' (Protesting....)But eventually everyone went back to where they were suppose to go and we all went to sleep. In my half a sleep and half awake state I decided its time to turn on my side and I woke up in real life......That woke me up from my dream! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARARAHAAAAAAARRaAAAAAAAAAARHAHHRAHAHAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIHEUGFUEWIQASDFGHASDFGHJKL!!!!!
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No. Not really. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Are you kidding me? No.
But I decided I'm gonna stop stressing myself out. I've decided not to try (and fail) at competing with the big boys and girls on Da.
Go at my own pace

Remove the stress of competing in my mind, that weird race I have yet to even sign my name in. What?
Cut it out!

I was looking through my old drawing of my old, you could call it OC, and redrawing them for some reason and I realized something.....I enjoy drawing! I enjoyed drawing for myself. After finishing I would think wow this is so good!

My heart still beats like crazy when I post stuff on my account or when I share them on Facebook.

But hey, I enjoy drawing again! I wanna draw for me! I'm not saying I wouldn't care what other people think or don't think about my art....That is reeeaaaalllllyyy important. I wish it wasn't but without medication it still will be. I just said I wish it wasn't so people won't think I'm crazy or something in that way. Or would it make ME think I'm not......You know it's kinda really hard to feel a certain way and not want to and still feel that way.

Trying to think and breath at the same time is really hard.......

Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant.........How do I explain this? I wanna put my thoughts out there for me so when in the future I can come back here and read it again and think wow was I smart! :iconderpplz:

:star:In other more personal news, I'm getting fatter and mah belly is cosplaying as Santa Clauses belly! Damn belly! Why can't you cosplay as one of those newfangled Victoria Secret Angel's bellies? Strangely I am not feeling more unattractive but I am sucking in my gut so much it hurts? I like Victoria Secret Angels.....
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P!nk is one of my most favorite artiest~tah of all time in history!
(Yes you gotta read it like that!)   

I love her song "Blow Me" ( One last kiss ) a fetish of mine from her 6th studio album, The Truth about love....(uh-huh, never expected to ever learn anything from reading my journals did ya?)



You might see some of my favorite parts from the music video that I saw in my next subs....who knows ;)

EDIT:
Music Video from Youtube-Blow me (One last kiss)www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jNlIG…
There is also a colored version but the b&w version is my favorite!
and Subscribe to PinkVEVO  (if you want) for first hand updates and more music!! :D

Watch this behind the scene's photoshoot video I just found!
P!nk looks  completely stunning! I love two looks especially.
First is the lace dress with the kitty ears :iconkittyglompplz:
The second, I love the big black dress with the oh so sexy pantyhose! Pause and stare, if you must!!
Also baby Willow makes an appearance! Her baby is so adorable! www.youtube.com/watch?feature=…
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My left arm has been killing me! Off and on... I think I may have torn a something.....

but I digress
--
Here is a "drawing" of a kitty cat!

          ^   ^
   c~( = ' w '= )~c

:iconlegaspplz:

but I digress again!
==
Seriously....
I decided to start drawing again after so many months of, not drawing, I guess. But of course I don't have to tell you, you will see for yourself when I have started posting my art again.....I'm very lazy and completely mastered the skill of procrastination bending..(It was difficult because I left it to the last minute) :iconlegaspplz:
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I used to have very thick hair. It grew very quickly. Apparently ( Google and Youtube told me ) Lambert's hair does as well. I used to wish it wasn't so thick! Then, guess what? Most of my hair started falling out. I'm not ashamed! Its just that there was so much hair. :cough:

I had to decide to start cleaning up! I found shit in my mini paper mache cupboard right above my head! ( I did so make one! ) And I do mean shit. Not junk! I was horrible  :x ( my hair is starting to ticked the back of my neck. OR it could just be goosebumps )

Now that I'm trying to grow out my hair. Its taking so LONG. Even my bangs have given up on me! I used to be able to grow my bangs till my chin just because some hair dresser recommended it! Not anymore! :movingon:

My point is, live in the moment. You can plan for the future but lets be honest. That shit is f*cking scary and unpredictable! And the past is just depressing. ( yes, even if it had good times. ) If you think "I could improve myself by fulfilling a certain requirement for the people". Fantastic for you! Just do it for the right reasons...

Nothing you do will make you happy-for the long term if you don't remember why doing it in the first place made you unhappy....:juggle:

-Me (Glameyes)


Update add-on: I love this quote from Bones by 'Ryan Stephenson'. Bones is a tv crime show. The dialog was really well written but I don't know who wrote it for that character. Basically, to me, it was about how different we are on the outside but it doesn't matter! Here is the short form-

Ryan Stephenson: As I look around I see others like me. We don't look alike. None of us look alike. On the outside, we are gay and straight, black and white, fat and thin, man and woman, saint and sinner. But inside... inside we are all the same.</i>

Original quote:TheHeInTheShe from Imdb
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